Learning to live in an ‘image-obsessed’ world.
A high school show choir performance, singing a country song from The Judd’s. I’d pay cash for that body now!
From carbs to criticism, I’ve dealt with it all.
I've been sucking in my stomach since the 7th grade. I wasn't even overweight then. In fact, I had a really cute figure. I stood at 5'8" and weighed 127 strong, athletic, pounds. I'd pay cash for that body now. I don't know why my already skinny self decided it was necessary to squeeze my abdominals in all day long except that I was just becoming aware of my shape. I noticed other people noticing it, and teenage boys making comments about it. So I suppose my young self learned to look even smaller. Over the years, other people continued to watch my weight, which I think is weird.
“After college, I spent three years working in a very image intensive industry. My boss called me into her office one morning to tell me that I was “getting heavy” and that “I’d better watch it”. ”
After college, I spent three years working in a very image intensive industry. My boss called me into her office one morning to tell me that I was "getting heavy" and that "I'd better watch it". It was the early 2000's and heavily marketed diets were fashionable. Our company owner was on "The Zone" while other employees bragged about attending Weight Watchers meetings and were way too proud of picking the salad bar at Wendy's over a "Single" with cheese. I thought the entire discussion was boring but certainly felt pressured to participate.
After drinking a chocolate SlimFast shake at work one morning, I tossed the empty can into the trash in the employee kitchen without thinking anything of it. The owner's wife had just lost 20 pounds by successfully following The Atkins Diet. She bragged that she'd only eaten the toppings off of her pizza and skipped the carb laden crust. She shared her news as though we sinful crust eaters should be in awe of her self discipline. I never had very much interaction with this woman but she spotted my empty SlimFast can and pulled it out of the garbage! From my office down the hall I heard her gasp, "WHOSE IS THIS? WHOSE SHAKE IS THIS?" Looking back I would have been smarter to crawl under my desk. But I was only 24, embarrassed, and wanted her screeching to stop. Upon my confession, she took the liberty of reading the entire nutrition label to me, line by line, and then explained that I needed to stop drinking SlimFast because, "It has too much sugar." She might not have been wrong about the sugar. To this day though, I'm not sure if I'm more disgusted that she pulled the shake can out of the garbage or that she reprimanded me for drinking it.
I told my boss about the interaction thinking she might stand up for me. Instead, she sided with the owner's wife. She added, "If you want to make a name for yourself in this business Melissa, you better start working out and watching your carbs.” I did start working out and I tried counting carbs. But I could have cared less about "making a name for myself” in that business. I resigned shortly after the SlimFast infraction and took a job with a remarkable woman from my church.
Years later, my 127-pound-self has long since been in the rearview but there's a reflection in it that I still love.